The Modern Zoo (Workplace Analogy)

We always get to hear of people being compared to animals or the work area as a jungle.  And when that happens, we get to have various animal images in mind.  Some of them are accurate, some are extremes, a few are defenitely out of bound but as a whole, it is funny.  Funny because it either fits the person or the situation.

Here is my Workplace Zoo.  Hope you enjoy the analogy given!

The Lion

Known as the king of the jungle.  Simply put your workplace leader or someone who has that leader attitude.  They would roar at times.  Chew you when things goes bad. Delegate things (the politically right term of ordering you to do something). If they have proven that they can do things, people would follow them (alpha male syndrome), even if they don't want to. Normally you would see them with big hair or the lack of it (similar to an old lion).  They have that walk that says "I am the leader!".  If you will contradict them or question them (traditional leader attitude), they would either roar or have their claws out for some serious shredding.

Like their small relatives (house cat), they are also appealing and "cute".  Remember though, they do have a sharp set of teeth.

The Pack

They vary from one industry to another but still, they are a pack.  A term to be used for the general workforce.  They would work hard for the group.  They are always reminded that what they are doing is not for the individual but for the whole team.  They mave have different functions but still they are a team.  Loyalty is demonstrated even if  what they say is different.  There is a point of contradiction at times simlar to a pack fighting over a bone or piece of meat.  Can be protective on things, to a fault, and the sense of ownership can either be present or the opposite.  Kick them and they would cry but will be back afterwards (depending on the intensity of the kick delivered).  They can give you the puppy-eye look or the Puss-in-boots eye effect (Shrek character).  One thing is for sure, they are noisy.  Not just sometimes but most of the time.  They are not just noisy because they are discontented but even when they are contented (have you seen a dog frolic?).

The Fly

They are your "busy-bodies".  Your "intregero/intregera" - "tsismosos/tsismosas".  They would be around you, looking at what you have or what you are doing.  Ask you most of the time, regarding your life.  Then tell it to next ear available.  They would be buzzing, figuratively.  Bottomline, they can be irritating.  They are irritating.

The Peacock

The one who wants to be seen.  The one who will strut and even flaunt things.  They can be quite at times but definitely they are noticed.  They would do something to be noticed!  They can be your in-crowd or those who wants to be part of the in-crowd.  Some of them, unknowingly for them, doesn't know that they are doing it.

They are your "feeling - type" of people.  Feeling buff even though they just started a gym program.  Feeling fashionista even if they are not.  Feeling beautiful even if they look like clowns at times. (For non-Filipinos, the usage of the word "feeling" has a Filipino culture touch to it.

The Donkey

This are the type who will do what was instructed to them.  Ask them to pull, they would pull.  Faced with a challenge, even if it is simple, you need to fix it for them and then they will pull again. (Do you have somebody in mind already?)

The Bull

Branded as people with attitude problem.  Stubborn, difficult, a headache to most leaders.  Bound to be managed out (around 90% true).  They can be more than a handful but definitely one of those hardworkers that companies wish they can multiply in hundreds when handled right.

The Leech

Blood-suckers in the animal kingdom.  In the workplace, these are the kiss-ass type.  I feel that I have insulted the whole genus of the leech for they only suck/sip on blood, as far as I know.  But it is because of that sipping motion that they are used in this writing.  In Filipino, we call them "sip-sip" which means to sip.  If there is anyone who could give me a member of the kingdom animalia who could sip on something and lick ass as a normal practice and not just a hobby then please tell me. (When I say normal, it is in their nature and not doing the act for sexual stimulation, ok.)

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From your normal animals, we also have your mythological animal list.  Mythological because you don't see them now and is simply believed as a creation of man's fancy.  Why add them to the list?  Because they are the perfect description for some people.  Happy associating.

The Dragon

Yes they are big but it is not the size that I would like to point out.  Its the temper of this creature.  If Catwoman says:  "Hear me roar.", this one would be ROAR with fire along with it.  Normally you would see this moment on extreme situations.  I am not simply describing a leader here, for this could be your neighbor (colleague) who is rubbed the wrong way.  Not just your regular wrong way but your wrong way in an extremely off manner.  For some Filipinos, you would hear they say: "bugahan ka nyan ng apoy" or "bugahan kita ng apoy, gusto mo?" ("He might breathe out fire at you." or "Would you like me to breathe out fire at you?")    Beware this moment!

The Scorpion Lady

Beautiful to behold.  Fascinating to look at.  Watch-out for the stinger!  This my deary are your backstabbers.

The Phoenix

From it's death ashes, it will rise again.  A phoenix is reborn!

This are you battle-hardened individuals.  From their failure, they learned and rose again to fly the sky.  They can be calm at times like that of the mythological bird but also deadly if they want to.  A phoenix is known to burn down their enemy if pushed and the same can be said to this type of people. Since they have fallen already, its is either they die but they shall not be placed in that fallen state again.

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That completes my animal list in the workplace based on my own observation.  Some may agree, some may not.  Some may say it is harsh while others may be rolling in laughter due to the analogy.  Bottomline, let us not be hypocrites.  You would have compared someone at work to a member of the animal kingdom.  Share your zoo list and we may simply laugh things out.

(Photos are lifted from the web.  I am not claiming any ownership on the images used.)